The Bitter Sweet of (My) Mind

Kenapa (Nge-)/(Baca) Blogg?

2006-10-12T15:29:00.000+07:00

Hihi...setelah lama tidak nge-blogg, akhirnya mood untuk posting kembali lagi...sebab musabab nya adalah ibu ini (hehehe...) yang membuat saya jadi semangat nge blogg lagi...

Hmmm...emang gitu deh, pasti ada fase semangat menjadi blogger, terus turun lagi menjadi penikmat blogg....nah..kemarin2 saya menjadi penikmat blogg aja deh....

Nah, gara-gara menjadi penikmat blogg itulah, saya jadi nemuin link-link ke orang-orang baru dan gara-gara itu juga saya baru tau ternyata ada beberapa temen kantor saya yang juga nge-blogg.

Hmm...mungkin pertanyaan basi sih, tapi kenapa ya banyak orang yang nge-blogg?

Kalo saya baca, waahh...ternyata macem-macem topik nya...

Ada yang nulis kegiatan sehari-hari, ada pengalaman keluarga muda, ada yang nulis kisah percintaan, ada yang nulis tentang goal-goal jangka pendek dan jangka panjangnya, ada yang nulis puisi, nulis cerpen, resep masakan, nulis tentang baby (biasa nya ibu-ibu muda niyyy), sampe curhat....

Seru banget yaaa?

Hmm...kalo sayaa...saya kategori curhat aja dehhh...

Terus kalo ditanya, kenapa nge-blogg?

Hmm....because I feel like writing thats all..

Kalau menurut saya...kenapa orang-orang nge blogg, karna masing-masing orang itu sebenernya ingin berbagi,,berbagi cerita tentang kehidupannya, pemikirannya.

Dan setiap orang bisa menulis.

Cuma kalau dulu-dulu wadahnya cuma diary, sekarang udah ada blogg....

Lebih bebas mau nulis apa aja, di hias apa aja, lah iyaaa...karena sekarang orang lebih menghargai pemikiran orang lain....

Selain itu, comments yang dateng dari para pembaca blogg mungkin bisa jadi pemacu semangat juga or bisa untuk bertukar pikiran,,lebih seru lagi kalo ada kesamaan pengalaman...Bisa-bisa nambah teman di dunia maya,,,

Dan yang paling penting, kalau ternyata tulisan kita, pemikiran kita, without us knowing it, affecting someone's life. Amazin isn't it?

Lalu, kenapa orang-orang kaya saya hobi membaca blogg?

Hihi, kalau yang ini menurut saya adalah karena sifat dasar manusia yang ingin tahu...

Ga selalu in a bad way loh...Setiap manusia kan belajar dari pengalaman, termasuk juga pengalaman manusia lain nya...Dengan membaca blogg, kita bisa mengetahui kehidupan orang lain yang mungkin ternyata jauh berbeda dari kehidupan kita, bisa mengetahui opini mereka tentang sesuatu, and I find it interesting!

Saya bisa terinspirasi dengan membaca tulisan-tulisan mereka....

Saya jadi ingin travelling, saya jadi tidak (terlalu) takut untuk married (haha secara banyak banget blog ibu-ibu muda yang heartmelting banget ngeliat foto2 anak2 mereka yang lucu2), untuk belajar bersyukur sama kehidupan saya, sampe juga jadi tau untuk jangan pake baju yang salah.

Dan yang menurut saya lebih menarik, apabila lagi melihat blog orang-orang yang saya kenal. When you think you know someone well, ternyata banyak banget pikiran-pikiran mereka, pengalaman mereka, dan kegiatan mereka yang baru saya ketahui setelah saya membaca blog mereka.

Dan untuk sebab-sebab alasan itulah...(selain karna udah ketauan juga alamat blog saya sama si bunda ferrel dan jadi tersebar hheuhuehue...) then I decided that this blog IS FINALLY PUBLISHED FOR PUBLIC!(Sorry Nalkun, it's not ur own privilege anymore :p)

Haha...agak-agak malu siy tulisan-tulisan dan curhatan saya dibaca orang...but this is the fairest way since I'm also a big-blog-reader...

Well....enjoy reading everyone...

And keep writing...

Coz u're all inspiring

cheers!

The One that Got Away

2006-09-27T11:34:00.000+07:00

Just got this email from a friend. Very nice....

The One That Got Away
Source: The Manila

Times By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you
shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the
one you first kissed, the one you first loved, and the one you lost your
virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with, and the
one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it's that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that
goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter whom you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest stars of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is.

The biggest "What if?" question you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one that will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's all right. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married, in which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple... Find him, find her. Because the very existence of a"one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one. Ask him out to a coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Do I ever cross Ur Mind?

2006-09-14T15:12:00.000+07:00

I wish for you on the falling star...
Wondering where you are...
Do
I
Ever
Cross
Your
Mind?

Saat Senja (Puisi III)

2006-08-30T14:55:00.000+07:00

Jangan sedih cinta….
Aku disini…
Mungkin kau belum merasakan hadirku
Menolehlah ke belakang
Hei! Iya! Itu aku…
Itu aku yang selalu menyambutmu
Mencoba membasuh luka hatimu,
Mengeringkan air mata mu..
Apapun untuk kamu cinta….
Hanya untuk mendapatkan seulas senyum di bibirmu

Jangan takut cinta…
Aku selalu disini
Lihat kesungguhan ku…
Di saat semua pergi
Menolehlah ke belakang
Hei! Iya! Itu aku…
Itu aku yang tetap berdiri disitu..
Menggenggam tanganmu biar kamu tau
Kamu tidak sendiri sayang…

Ah, Berhasrat ingin memelukmu
Agar kamu bisa beristirahat tenang disitu
Pulanglah!
Untuk cinta

**********************************************************************

Sinar mentari yang terbit selalu mengingatkanku atas kamu
Entah mengapa,
Mungkin karena terangnya menjanjikan,
Seperti semua yang ada di dirimu
Membuatku yakin, kamu akan meraih mimpimu

Teriknya mentari siang selalu mengingatkanku atas kamu
Entah mengapa,
Mungkin karena panasnya seperti bara dalam auramu
Yang turut membakar asaku saat kulihat kerja kerasmu
Terik, dan berat
Tapi tetap membuatku yakin,
Setengah jalan telah kau lampaui untuk taklukan dunia

Matahari terbenam,
Indah dan merah
Entah mengapa
Mengingatkanku akan kamu
Yang bersinar saat menggenggam mimpimu
Dan berseri saat menikmatinya

Lalu bintang pun muncul
Langit gelap, tapi bertabur sinar
Membuat dirimu ingat kepadaku
Entah mengapa
Mungkin karena sinar mataku selalu menyertai langkahmu
Dan kejora bertahta disana
Saat kau persembahkan mimpi kita
Lalu kau rebahkan kepala mu di pangkuanku
Sambil menikmati indahnya purnama

Saat Terang (Puisi II)

2006-08-30T14:52:00.000+07:00

Hei titik hujan!
Sudah kutunggu…Sejak kemarau kemarin
Tolong, Luruhkan semua risau ku
Ku kan terpejam, damai….
Menunggu semua yang menyakiti hatiku untuk pergi
Menikmati semilir dinginnya angin ditengkuk ku
Mencium harumnya asa
Saat kubuka mata,
Hei, sudah musim semi!
Dan senyumku mengembang....

*****************************************************************

Kan kutangkupkan rapuhmu digenggam halusku
Tak akan kubiarkan hancur menjadi serpihan hati
Lihat cahaya disana?
Masih ada sinar
Lihat!
Jangan tutup matamu, jangan lari dari hangatnya
Kamu takut?
Aku juga
Tapi
Aku tetap disini..disisi mu
Selama kamu tetap dilangkahku
Agar tak ada lagi bulir air mata kesedihanmu
Terlalu berharga cantik…
Terlalu berharga..

Saat Gelap (Puisi I)

2006-08-30T14:43:00.000+07:00

Sebentuk hati ada di genggam mu
Milik ku.
Patah.

Rekatkan
Atau buang
Rekatkan
Atau buang

Kenapa berpikir lagi?
Jika ragu buang saja
Buang!
Buang jauh semuanya!
Dan hati itu tidak akan pernah satu lagi

********************************************************************

Pernah terpikir untuk pergi
Tapi pasti selalu kembali lagi
Langkah yang sama
Jejak yang sama
Semua menuju ke arahmu

Pernah memutuskan untuk berhenti mencintaimu
Tapi pasti selalu kembali lagi
Rindu yang sama
Lamunan yang sama
Hati dan cinta yang akan selalu menjadi milikmu

Sampai kapan penantian ini kujalani?
Tak sadarkah kau aku kesepian menunggumu
Aku juga tidak tau mengapa dan bagaimana
Hanya saja ini murni.
Cinta.
Titik
Cukup satu penjelasanku.

The Loosing of a Self-Esteem

2006-08-22T17:20:00.000+07:00

Recently, a great friend of mine admitted that he's just loosing his self-confidence.
You should see this guy, he's a handsome man, he has this great job that he likes, he has this gud sense of humor, he is surrounded with good companies, he's a little chubby ^_^ but who doesn't?
I consider him as a chick magnet, seriously.
What I cannot understand is, with all those gud qualities in him, how come he stated that he doesnt have self-confidence? All these years, what I do is nothin but admire him. He had this self-confidence, which could convince me that I can be a better person [I hope he knows that he influences some people in his life]
When you're life affects one person, it means that u have qualities that others acknowledge.

Seriously, I don't get it.
I tried hard to convince him that he is still who he used to be, or even much better.
But it seems that he can't listen what I say. Or he just doesn't want to.

In my opinion, we're loosing our self-confidence when we measure our life up comparing with other people's life. And we're not satisfied. Or just frightened. All of sudden, we THINK our life is not as gud as other people's life.
But, is it really?

Kadang kita membiarkan pikiran-pikiran kita berkelana dan tanpa kita sadari justru menjatuhkan mental kita sendiri.
The key is how you control ur own mind!
If u keep thinkin that u don't have what it takes just to facing the life, then u'll probably will apply that thought into ur action.
Kita semua punya kekurangan.
So what?
It means that everybody has that too!!
Don't let ourselves depend on how other people think, how other people live their life, and most importantly dont let ourselves gain our self-confidence by letting down other people!
You are the only person who can acknowledge urself that ur gud enough as a person.

And for you, please let ur self know that u do have what it takes to live a wonderful life.
To deserve someone nice.
Just remember what u have, and not what u don't have.
See..?
U do have gud life and qualities rite?
I know this is a hard phase to be through, but we all have been in this phase..
When u're now in this phase and someone still care about you and help you trough this, believe me it means that u are lucky.

Lemme convince you one more time.
U have what it takes.
Just dont loose ur self esteem okey?
If u do, I will still being here to convince you, until u can go through this phase.
because I care.
and I KNOW, that u are one of the most loveable person who has more than just a beauty but also has a gud heart.
Believe me.
U know I never lie... =)

I Got My Ipod today!!!

2006-08-14T17:02:00.000+07:00

I'm so happy!
I'm so happy!
I'm so happy!

After more than 1 year waitin, I finally got my IPOD!!!!!
yey!!!
A white shiny IPOD video 30 gb, love it soooo muchhhh!!!
love it
love it
love it

I already heard the audio quality of my IPOD, and I think they're cool...!
Now, I'm saving for a new earphone like J.D has... hehe...
Buy me one, please? =p

Soundtrack: Any song from MY Ipod!! hehe...

Back into de Dating Game!

2006-08-14T16:56:00.000+07:00

When was the last time you're goin out with a total stranger on a date?
Me? well, it was hard to remember....hmm....wait..wait..yup, the last time was almost 6 years ago! (haha...you can tell whom I went on a date with..)
Therefore, back in de game of dating is making me a bit nervous now...
Seriously, I dont know those tricks and strategy on how to have a successful first date.
Why is this becoming my issues?
hmm..hmm....hehe after in hiatus in d love game (oohh..really..??) now I decided to go out again with this totally stranger whom my friend sets me up with! Huhu...

The Theory
However, it turns out that you can find all those first date tips for the dummies on the internet...Haha...but many of them are a bit corny...check one of those:

"Di saat berpisah, cobalah unuk memandang matanya dengan penuh harapan dan katakan kamu sangat menikmati saat bersamanya dan mengharapkan pertemuan berikutnya"

Haha...pandang matanya dengan penuh harapan hihihi.....
Gosh...bisa lebih dangdut lagi takss??? No, I don't think I would do that...! :P

But of course, there are other "normal" tips...such as:
1. be yourself ("but not too much!" Monica suggested Chandler when he was about introducing himself to Katie hihi...)
2. be punctual (hmmm...since when I become a punctual person? hihi...so it is a bit hard for me then)
3. do not dominate the conversation (hihi...again, since I am cerewet this would be my biggest challenge as well)
4. Share the jokes and other interesting stories (well..I hope I can come up with something, coz sometimes when u're nervous, u can't even think one..)
5. Dress up nicely, but u also have to be comfortable for what you wear (huhu...should I buy new dress?)

Well..my other concerns are "should I ask him to pick me up?", "who's gonna pay for the food?", "what are we doing on the first date?", "what if I don't enjoy the date?", "what should we do in the end of the date?"...

My friends then suggested "he should pick u up at ur house", "you can split the bill, however if he says it's unnecessary then you don't have to", "if you out of topic for conversation, then just go to the movie, coz u can kill time for approximately 2 hours", "if u don't enjoy the date, then just say u have to go back soon coz u have to do some "errands"" hahahaha....

They are interesting suggestions...however, I do believe that the key of a succesful first date is:
CHEMISTRY!
yup...if there is no chemistry between you and him, then unfortunately there is probability that ur date is going to be sore hehe....
I have this theory, after the date has ended, you have 3 options:
1. U KNOW you won't be goin out again with this guy
2. The date went alright, but you're not sure whether u have chemistry or not with him. Nevertheless, you decided to give him more chance
3. U are ABSOLUTELY goin out with him again!
So...let see which option I would choose ;p

The Date
Well....back to my story,
This guy asked me out for an ice cream....hmm...to be honest, I don't really like sweet stuffs :p but then I decided to accept his request, coz I know I have to learn going out of my nest. This should be a start. My friend suggested me to go to Praline, a romantic place to have ice cream. But I was not fond of this idea so much, coz I think I'm not ready yet to have a romantic date with a stranger hehe....I was hopin to have a casual date only.

Well...to sum up, we then decided to go to a mall, had dinner, watching this horror Movie, had ice cream, and went to his friend's bday party..

So...let see if I fulfilled all the requirements of first dates as mentioned above.
1. No, I don't think I was myself enuf hihi...masih agak2 grogi, so I was kinda quite... =(
2. He picked me up at my house, but He wasn't on time!!! huh....he was almost an hour late, padahal gue sampe ga mandi loooo...huehuehe...
3. He was more cerewet than me hehe...so I wasn't the one who dominate the conversation
4. I'm always be considered as a pretty funny gurl (ciieeehhh...sok lucu looo!! hahaha...) but too bad, I couldn't come up with something funny, darn!
5. I wore this casual shirt and jeans, and he was MORE casual than me...hehehe..Tp nyaman2 aja siy...so it was a casual date
6. I never like a horror movie, but watchin Sillent Hill mayan membantu ga kaku ngobrol nya (haha iyalah, we were screaming on the movie gitu hihi...) And it is, help you to killin time for 2 hours..
7. I contribute 20,000 rupiah for the movie hehe...I guess that was a very small amount, but he insisted to pay for the remain activities on the date...so...
8. The funny thing on the ice cream parlor, it was revealed that none of us like ice cream!! haha...it was so silly, so what the hell were we doing there? He thought girls like ice cream..hoho not me, I'm a main-course-kinda-girl a.k.a rakus huehuehe...
9. In the end of the date, sempet bingung sih mau ngapain, akhirnya dadah2 doang hihihi...cupuuu....aku cupuuu...

The Conclusion
Setelah nge-date dan mempelajari semua teori nya, baru saya nyadar sesuatu....
"What if, HE is decided that I WAS the one who is boring??"
huahuaha...semua teori2 itu membuat kita khawatir gimana pasangan date kita...
tapi coba dibalik situasi nya, padahal sangat mungkin justru dia yg bored of our presence and stories...!
Hehe...makanya, saya jadi takut nge-judge niy...therefore I decided...uhmm...
Well...I think...I would choose option number 2...means that I would give him another chance (hehe if he want to....)
And if he doesn't want to anymore, that's okey too... =)
It's quite nice back in the dating game!

note: He already asks me out on second date! yey! hihi...I suppose I'm a pretty gud date, aite? ^_^

The One

2006-08-10T09:55:00.000+07:00

People always say that when u finally meet the one, you'll know that he/she is the one.
Hmm...just wonderin, what if you feel that he/she IS the One, but in the other hand, he/she doesn't feel the same way about you...
Does it mean that we've met the One, or our heart and mind just give a false alarm?

What would you do then?
Will you keep waiting for him/her?
Or just break down and go?
Or find another person to love?

Oohh...I'm really lookin for an answer here...

Back to My Root

2006-08-09T13:53:00.000+07:00

Actually, this is a post from my old blog, despite of this is also one of my favourite posts, this is also a mild reminder for me of how lucky I am to be surrounded by my big-fat-Padangese-family hehe....

I posted this writing almost a year ago, I remember that I wrote this when I had one of the most difficult time in my life...wow, time flies by and it feels great knowing that I am now a stronger person than I was last year.

Lesson learned, the storm and hurricane would not break me apart, coz with the back up from my family, I know I'll through...

BACK TO MY ROOT
September 11, 2005

Kemaren akhirnya gue pergi liburan ke Anyer sama keluarga gue..it's been a while since I join my big family's holiday together..
On the way there, I had this argument (again!) with my father tentang S2 di luar. Pokoknya gue ngotot2an sama bokap gue, dari di negara mana, mau jurusan apa, bla..bla..bla..Dan gue dengan songongnya berpikir, "both my parents do not understand at all...they way too conservative to understand this..I don't wanna end up being so so like them...".
Pas akhirnya nyampe di Anyer, ternyata kita ga terdaftar di hotel (padahal dah dibooking dari 3 minggu laluuuu!!!), dan akhirnya setelah nunggu dapet jg 1 cottage, tp jadinya nenek dan tante gue jadi join bareng kita.

Nah, karna satu kamar rame2, biasalah cewek-cewek ^_^ akhirnya jadi ngobrol-ngobrol masalah relationship.Tante gue yg suaminya udah setahun meninggal, tiba-tiba ngerasa kangen sama suaminya...Dia bilang, suaminya baiiiikkkkk bangetttt sama dia, suka manjain, nemenin ke kamar mandi malem-malem, suka masakin buat anak nya, dan hal-hal kecil lainnya yg bikin dia ga mau married lagi sama orang lain karna sayang banget. Nenek gue pun ikut join cerita tentang Kakek gue, whom I've never met but I hear all great things bout him, Mama Deasy (that's what I call my grandma) bilang kalo Kakek gue tuh manjain dia banget trus baek banget juga...everybody loves him dan dia nunjukin banget kalo dia tuh sayang sama keluarganya, especially my grandma. Mereka tuh dijodohin dan waktu itu nenek gue belom tau. Mereka beda umur 10 tahun, so intinya Kakek gue nunggu nenek gue gede trus abis itu dia propose, dan selama dia nunggu dia jagain nenek gue kemana-mana...*aaawwwww.....*.

Trus tante dan nenek gue pas selesai cerita, mereka bilang satu kalimat yang kena banget di gue "Kita emang ga ditinggalin rumah ataupun benda-benda mewah sama mereka, tapi sampai saat ini ga ada yang bisa gantiin dia karna kita bener-bener sayang sama dia karna mereka juga sayang banget sama kita".
Dheng!kalimat itu tiba-tiba bikin gue diem....
Entah kenapa tiba-tiba mata gue kebuka...These last years...I tried so hard untuk keluar dari "lingkaran gaya hidup" keluarga gue yang menurut gue terlalu simple. Sekolah yang bener untuk dapet kerja trus gantian bantuin orang tua sama adek2nya, terus cari suami yang baik dan hidup bahagia and raise a family.Ga usah macem-macem. Jadi orang baik aja.
Dan gue nggak puas.Gue mau lebih dari itu...
Gue ngerasa itu terlalu simple...Gue mikir nya harusnya gue S2 trus jadi wanita karier atau jadi orang terkenal (hehehe) trus married sama cowok sukses yg udah mapan,punya apartemen, tinggal di luar negeri,bla..bla..bla...
Tapi tiba-tiba gue baru tersadar.
Semua nya semu banget...ternyata yang gue cari dalam hidup gue adalah pure kebahagiaan.
Orang yang sayang sama gue. Family value yang kuat. Simplicity.

So......here I am....With all these following confessions:
1. De-ef suka dipanggil Udin sama keluarga nya...
2. Gue minta S2 di luar sama bokap gue sebenernya karna pengen tinggal di luar negeri dan jalan-jalan. Untuk belajar bla,bla,bla...cuma sampingan...hehehe....
3. I love tanah abang, di rumah Mama Deasy, kangen duduk-duduk di depan rumahnya untuk ngobrol-ngobrol dan suasana nya masih perkampungan (hehee maap yah mama deasy cayaaannnggg...hihih), sambil makan makanan dari kantin yang dibuka sama nenek gue itu
4. I'm in love with my cousins yang berisik dan jayus-jayus itu
5. Gue seneng banget sama tradisi untuk berbagi sama anggota keluarga yang lain. Dulu waktu kecil, oom dan tante gue kalo lebaran suka ngasih salam tempel ke keponakan-keponakan nya walaupun jumlah nya ga gede. Kaya dulu, gue seneng banget dikasih Rp.2.500 dan gue baru tau kalo temen-temen gue dikasihnya Rp.10.000 hehehe....Insya allah taun ini akhirnya giliran gue dan kakak gue udah bisa ngasih keponakan-keponakan gue uang jajan dan salam tempel =)
6. Gue suka dengan tradisi cela-cela an dikeluarga gw hehehe...mulutnya cablak semua siy...
7. Kalo ada yang punya pacar baru, pertanyaan pertama nya adalah "baik ga orang nya??"
8. Gue seneng keluarga gue bikin arisan bulanan padahal kita udah sering banget ketemu..dan acaranya adalah: KARAOKE hehehee.....
9. Kemaren ada temen gue yang ngomong bahwa sampe hari ini harus nya kita tetep dapet uang jajan dan ga apa-apa masih minta sama orang tua. Well, sorry, but I dont agree with that. My parents already give me much till now, and hopefully I try to do the same thing as soon as possible. That's why I work....Makasih yah mama deasy untuk ngingetin aku ga ngerepotin orang tua lagi *at least diusahakanlaaahhhh hehee....* I love to see my sister and my cousins already get a job hence we wont be borne by our parents anymore... =)
10. The most important thing, semua title kita di luar-an, saat kita lagi ngumpul di tanah abang semua nya dilepas...kita balik lagi jadi anak dan cucu-cucunya mama deasy trus ngumpul di kamar sambil lesehan. Ga peduli lo anak UI, IP lo 3 koma apa atau ketua apapun, gue disamain sama Adek gw yang jago masak, sama sepupu gue yang udah sering jadi SPG untuk dapet penghasilan sampingan sendiri, mobil lo mercy ataupun kijang lama, sama semua dehhhh.....Karna yang paling penting adalah elo ngelakuin apa yang lo suka, jadi orang baik dan keluarga mendukung....Tapi yang paling penting adalah elo GA BOLEH SOMBONG, harus baik sama orang...

Hmm...apalagi yah....
Well...it also makes me realize...
Gue cuma butuh cowok yang baik...yang sayang sama gue...tulus.
In a whole...Dinda Felia...back to her root...being Simple.
I love being boring with my family ^_^
And everytime I'm feeling low, I know that I have a home to fix me.

*grandpa, I suddenly miss u so much...padahal belom pernah ketemu yah...I've always wondering what it feels like to have a grandpa like you...Thank you so much for loving mama deasy so much, wish me have someone like u -wink-*

"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones....And I will try to fix you"

MeDioCRe

2006-08-08T17:12:00.000+07:00

Urrghh....
Kinda tired of bein a f*ckin mediocre!
when will I be the best, the expert, the cool chick, the hot gurl, the smartest one, da boom!
whatever.....

and I don't even know what to write....
blaarggh....!

The Longest Time

2006-08-08T16:21:00.000+07:00

I just heard this song couples of time, but since the first time I heard the song, it really touches my heart, the lyric is so deep and this song was the best soundtrack to colour my-so-called-short-romance-story with this guy.. =)

So, I present you the lyrics...enjoy...

The Longest Time - Billy Joel

Oh oh oh oh
For the longest time
Oh oh oh
For the longest

If you said goodbye to me tonight
there would still be music left to write
What else could I do I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
that's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

Oh oh oh oh
For the longest time
Oh oh oh
For the longest

I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

May be this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the man that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Oh oh oh oh
For the longest time
Oh oh oh
For the longest time
Oh oh oh
For the longest time
Oh oh oh
For the longest time

Memori UMPTN

2006-08-07T13:53:00.000+07:00

Kemarin pengumuman SPMB (namanya bukan UMPTN lagi ternyata hihi) untuk angkatan baru...
Mereka bakal jadi angkatan..hhmm...2006!
wow...beda 6 taun sama saya...
Saya denger, ternyata gejala-gejala yang mereka alami itu sama aja seperti yang saya alami hehe...
Saya masih inget banget, malem sebelum pengumuman UMPTN, saya bener-bener ga bisa tidur...mindahin telfon ke sebelah tempat tidur saya, biar kalo di telfon sama kakak BTA nya bisa langsung diangkat (haha..terlalu ge-eR)
Tapi kok...udah nunggu berjam-jam tidak ada kabar dari kakak BTA saya...
Satu persatu temen2 saya ngasih kabar kalo mereka diterima...
haaa....panikkkk....
Terus kuputuskan untuk sok-sok tidur aja biar ga kepikiran...Eh, ga bisa tidur juga..
Akhirnya seorang teman ngasih saran:

"telfon aja kakak BTA nya, terus tanya dengan pede nya, kak saya lulus umptn ga?"

hmm...ide yang menarik..tapi saya ngga pede...Kalo lulus mah enak, lah kalo ternyata ngga? Kakak BTA nya nanti yang jadi pressure bilang saya ngga lulus, ntar awkward lagi.
Tapi daripada penasaran lalu insomnia kambuh, akhirnya saya beraniin diri buat nelfon...
Saya masih inget jawaban kakaknya abis saya telfon

"hhm...bentar ya dicari dulu....Oh...Din..selamat ya...kamu diterima di [ ]"

haaaaaaaaa.....terus saya yang tidak bisa menyembunyikan girang2 bodoh ituu...langsung makasih berkali2 sama kakak BTA nya...terus loncat turun kebawah (FYI, itu udah jam 12 malem lebih) dan langsung gedor2 kamar bokap...And I was granted with this seldom hug from me dad hihi....!

Besok paginya beli koran untuk meyakinkan diri bahwa nama ku memang ada hihi dan abistu langsung deh ke 70 untuk bertemu orang-orang...ada yang lulus umptn tapi bukan jurusan pilihan nya, ada yang ga lulus terus sedih, ada yang ga lulus tapi cuek aja karna bakal lanjut kuliah di luar, ada yang seneng banget karna lulus umptn ga peduli jurusan apa hehehe...

Ternyata siklus dan pattern nya dari taun ke taun sama aja yaa...
mau namanya Sipenmaru, UMPTN, SPMB, whatever...
tapi adrenalin nya sama hihi....

Buat yang lulus, selamat ya...remember, this is just a start. a beginning.
Buat yang belum beruntung lulus, don't worry guys, jalan tiap orang beda-beda kok....
Lulus UMPTN bukan jaminan kalian bakal sukses...
Lulusan negeri juga bukan jaminan kalian bakal sukses...
Wherever you end up studying, just be committed, explore all the chances and the opportunity to be a better person, seekin for better future...and enjoy every moment of it!
Coz it is a lifetime learning process...
If there's a will, there's a way..
Just hope for the best guys...

Buat Karina...selamat ya, walaupun ga lulus UMPTN tapi tetep bisa masuk FKUI...
see, if u're destined to be a great doctor, then there'll be many ways to assist you bein a great doctor!

*aahhh...jadi kangen nih awal2 pendaftaran di balairung, nyanyiin wisudawan di balairung dan berpikir...wow, 4 years? it will be a looonggg time.... Tapi ternyata time goes by, in this 6th year, knowing all my friends, gaining all those interesting yet exciting experiences, It still feels like yesterday...Saat muka-muka masih innocent sebagai anak baru hihiii....aahhh kangeeenn....college time was the best time in my life!! Don't you agree?*

The oLd BLanket - MY oLd bLanket

2006-08-04T15:33:00.000+07:00

Hey Ndut,

I know u're gonna read my blog (and add some "unimportant" comments hihihi..-Gobloggers)
Ndut..
sampe saat ini, I never thought that I was loved by an amazing, wonderful and kind person like you...I mean it..
Mungkin itu yang bikin aku susah banget untuk move on sama orang..
I mean, all the gud quality u have, and wonderful time we had together, who can compare with that?
I really like you as a person..
I feel like we are soulmate..honest!
If I could choose a stranger to become my family, it would be you..
I think God sent you to me for many reasons...
To be my bestfriend, to be my older brother, to be my younger brother, to be a teacher, to be my parents, to be my comedian, to be my rich daddy :p, to accompany me on my lonely nights, to cheer me up when I broke down, even to hurt me at the same time....

But you know what? most of all, I think we really are soulmate...

We have known each other intensively for almost 6 years!
No one besides my family accompany me for that long time...
Ibaratnya, dari anak kelas 1 sd sampe kelas 6 sd!
atau anak kelas 1 smp, bentar lagi dia kuliah!
my gosh, we practically grow up together...

It is amazing how we're still together, for whatsoever relationship is..
Last year, I thought I was about losing you for gud.. (I was so stupid Din.... -U said-)
ga ada lagi si De Koen, De koen the Korbat, Naldilabu, Naldiubi, Om Johny, Genjut, Naldikuntril,Gembul, atau siapapun namamu hihi, didalam hidup aku....
I had this thought: "What will happen next year?"
And the next year has arrived...
Last nite, we were still havin fun, laughing and being silly for thousand times...
Amazin isn't it?
After all those storm, rainy, cloudy and sunny days...we manage to through that...

How can I not love u, dear?
I feel like home whenever or wherever I beside u..
Siapa coba yang mau aku peperin ingus kalo lagi nangis (literally hihi), siapa yang mau ngikutin lagu2 konyol dan bodoh ciptaan aku ("aneh lo!!" -kata kamu) ("lebih aneh elo, ngikutin lagu aneh hihi" -kata aku), siapa yang bisa aku telpon kapan aja tanpa pernah sekalipun mengubah nada jadi bete merasa terganggu, siapa yang pernah liat aku belom mandi, lagi gendut, pake kacamata, muka berminyak, pake baju rumah jelek tanpa ngerasa ilfil, who wants to kiss my morning breath? hehe, siapa yang nyemangatin aku untuk terus maju, siapa yang bisa maklumin mood aku yang naik turun, siapa yang bisa aku telp jam 4 pagi cuma buat bilang "nayji muka kamu genjut.....dadahh...", siapa temen berburu makanan enak lagi, siapa yang rela matiin ac mobil nya kalo aku kedinginan, siapa orang yang sabar ngedampingin aku, siapa yang pinter bisa bantuin aku kerja, siapa yang paling aku percaya, siapa yang bisa bikin aku ketawa?

fuh..fuh..banyak kan....
You are my old blanket...
Something that makes me feel like home,
Membuat aku nyaman,
Dengan menjadi diri aku sendiri...
Well beibh....
someday a child in the house has to leave home facing his first day at school...
it is scary...
I am that child....
I have to leave home....
I am scare...if I could, I would run back home...to you...
but I dont know why, i think God decides not to destine us end up together....
thank you ndut...
for making my life so lively...
susah nih mau move on...........!!
huhu....yang mau sama aku cuma kamu doang hihihi...
genjut sih yooo...
cuk cuk....

soundtrack: Larut - Dewa

"Mungkin aku pernah juga..merasakan cinta..
tapi tak pernah..
seindah ini..
mungkin aku juga pernah merasakan rindu..
tapi tak pernah..
sedalam ini...
mungkin kamu takkan pernah..
percaya..
bahwa sesungguhnya..
aku telah terjatuh…

KUAKUI..AKU..TELAH LARUT..
LARUT KE DALAM..
KAMU..
YANG KU
CINTAI...."

Kangen

2006-08-01T15:16:00.000+07:00

Ga tau kenapa
Ga tau siapa
Pokoknya gue lagi kangen...
tiba-tiba kangen punya pacar,
tapi punya pacar yang bisa diajak ke rumah dan dikenalin sama keluarga gue
punya pacar yang baik dan mau sama gue
punya pacar yang di tengah-tengah kesibukan nya tetep inget sama gue
punya pacar yang membutuhkan gue
punya pacar yang bisa gue hubungin kapan aja (just to hear his voice to make me feel better from my rough day).
punya pacar yang kalau dia lagi sibuk,suntuk dan sedih inget gue untuk tempat ceritanya (and I hope I can comfort him)
punya pacar yang sayang sama gue
punya pacar yang sebenernya takut dengan yang namanya komitmen, tapi lebih takut kalo kehilangan gue
punya pacar yang mengakhiri harinya dengan ketemu atau mendengar suara gue

kapan ya?
kangen kangen kangen
urrghh....God, why can't u make him love me?

.Nan. (The Sista)

2006-07-27T16:24:00.000+07:00

Ah...my sista, Nan, is getting married tomorrow!
This will be the first marriage in my family...So, many happy faces, nervousness, and of course the excitement among the family...
I'll post the pics from the wed as soon as possible...
keep updated!

New Project!

2006-07-25T14:44:00.000+07:00

haaaa....in the middle of meeting, this briliant idea came into my head (well, at least a brilliant idea for me hehe..)
I just hope this new project will be realized, and really-really wishin that my lazyness will not stop me to carry out this project.
What project actually?
Well, since I'm a bit superstitious (if I tell too much information, everything I've planned will not be realized -it happens most of the time, true- ) so I'll just give a hint:

in writing, the idea was similar to scrubs,full of imagination, needs lots of times, hopefully someday will be launched

hehehe....
this will be the first exciting project for me!

Wish me luck!!

Sayang Gie untuk Luki

2006-07-24T14:43:00.001+07:00

Sudah rada basi sih, tapi saya baru kemarin nonton Gie.
Ekspektasi saya terlalu tinggi, sebab saya pernah menonton Metro Files yang juga menceritakan sosok Soe Hok Gie. Hanya dalam waktu kurang dari satu jam melihat dokumentari Gie, saya merasakan kharisma seorang Gie.
He was a smart and heroic guy.

Saya tidak akan menulis review film ataupun buku nya, karena saya terlambat menonton filmnya, akan menjadi suatu redundant kalo saya menuliskan pendapat saya. Selain itu saya juga belum membaca buku nya.

Saya hanya ingin memberitahukan adegan yang paling menyentuh saya.
Yaitu pada saat Ira membaca surat terakhir dari Gie.
Isi surat itu cukup membuat mata saya berkaca-kaca.
Seorang yang selalu gelisah, seorang yang dianggap sosok pemberontak, seseorang yang dianggap heroik, ternyata mampu untuk "melunakan" hatinya dibawah rasa sayang seorang wanita. Yaitu Ira, sahabatnya.
Di dalam Metro Files, Gie didampingi oleh seorang wanita yang bernama Inge. Saya pikir Ira ini adalah penggambaran tokoh Inge, ternyata saya salah. Karakter Sinta (yang diperankan oleh Wulan Guritno) itulah justru Inge. Karakter Ira yang diperankan oleh Sita RSD itu ternyata Luki Sutrisno.
Di dalam Metro Files sendiri, Luki Sutrisno diwawancarai..dia menyatakan bahwa ia tidak pernah berpacaran dengan Gie hanya bersahabat. Namun ternyata surat Gie didalam film itu benar diberikan kepada Luki.
Entah kenapa saya justru lebih tersentuh dengan kisah antara Gie dengan Ira (apapun bentuknya), seperti nya rasa sayang antara mereka betul-betul deep. Walaupun sempat merenggang akibat Gie berhubungan dengan Sinta, namun di akhir hayatnya tersirat bahwa perasaan sayang Gie adalah untuk Ira. Ada satu adegan didalam film saat Gie digoda oleh teman-temannya untuk hook up bersama seorang pelacur. Saat itu alasan Denny adalah "untuk latihan karena Gie tidak pernah ngapa-ngapain sama Ira". Reaksi Gie saat itu begitu menggugah saya, katanya "Ira itu sahabat saya dan saya menghormati dia! Jangan samakan Ira dengan perempuan begituan ya!"
Saya tidak tahu apakah itu hanya adegan di film saja atau memang kata-kata Gie sesungguhnya, apapun itu saya angkat jempol untuk pria yang menghargai wanita, apalagi orang yang dia sayangi. His words remind me of someone...

Anyway,,
ini isi surat dari Gie untuk Ira sebelum ia meninggal. Surat yang sukses membuat mata saya berkaca-kaca. Surat yang menurut saya adalah simbol dari ketulusan rasa sayang serta "menyerah" nya seorang Gie untuk beristirahat di sisi orang yang ia sayangi.

"Ada orang yang menghabiskan waktunya untuk berziarah ke Mekah
Ada orang yang menghabiskan waktunya untuk berjudi di Mirazah
Tapi aku ingin menghabiskan waktuku disisimu sayangku
Bicara tentang anjing-anjing kita yang nakal dan lucu
Atau tentang bunga-bunga yang manis di Lembah Mandalawangi

Ada serdadu-serdadu Amerika yang mati terkena bom
Ada bayi-bayi yang mati lapar di Biafra
Tapi aku ingin mati disisimu, manisku
Setelah kita bosan hidup dan terus bertanya-tanya
Tentang tujuan hidup yang tak satu setan pun tau

Mari sini sayangku
Kalian yang pernah mesra
Yang pernah baik dan simpati padaku
Tegaklah ke langit luas, atau awan yang mendung

Kita tak pernah menanamkan apa-apa
Kita tak kan pernah kehilangan apa-apa"

*Too bad they never end up together...*

And I Say A LiTTLe PraY...

2006-07-24T10:12:00.000+07:00

Ya Allah…
Betapa aku baru menyadari rindu ini ternyata hanyalah untuk-Mu wahai yang Maha Agung
Betapa aku baru menyadari bibir ini begitu jarang melafalkan indahnya nama-Mu, terbata-bata aku mengucapkannya
Jarang memanjatkan doa kepada-Mu,
Malu aku pada sombongku
Malu aku pada alpa-ku

Di sini, detik ini aku bersimpuh
Memohon ampun atas segala dosa hitam yang pernah kuperbuat
Memohon agar kau tidak melupakan aku
Memohon agar aku dapat berpulang ke rumah-Mu yang indah, di sisi-Mu beristirahat
Masihkah ada kesempatan untuk orang sepertiku?

Ya Allah...
Betapa banyak nikmat-Mu yang banyak telahku dustai?
Tak mau aku dustai lagi wahai yang Maha Pengasih!
Rindu aku pada Mu, ya Allah...
Pada Rasul Mu...
Serindu-rindunya...
Sesungguhnya hati dan pengabdianku hanyalah untuk-Mu

Hamba yang hina ini mencoba keberaniannya sekali lagi,
Keberanian dengan rendahnya hati,
Meminta dengan sujud setunduk-tunduknya
Memohon dengan khusuk, sekhusuk-khusuknya
Untuk meminta ampunan-Mu
Dan untuk menjaga hati serta pikiranku agar tetap seperti itu
Hari ini, esok dan seterusnya..sampai waktuku tiba berjumpa dengan-Mu
Masih kah ada kesempatan satu kali lagi? (Malu aku Ya Allah...mempertanyakan rasa pengasih-Mu, rasa penyayang-Mu dan rasa pemaaf-Mu...)
Namun hamba hanyalah manusia yang hina
Yang ingin kesempatan kedua, bahkan kesempatan untuk ribuan kali yang telah Kau anugerahkan untukku
Namun semua tertutup lupa-ku dan butanya hatiku oleh duniawi yang fana ini
Ya Allah,
Ampuni hamba, tuntunlah hamba, jagalah hamba dan semua orang yang kucinta agar tetap di jalan Mu..
Sesungguhnya hanya kepada-Mu lah aku momohon dan hanya kepada-Mu lah aku berserah diri
Amien ya robbal alamin....

*semoga terus begini*

Alarm Gempa

2006-07-20T10:48:00.000+07:00

Kemaren jam 17.58 terjadi gempa lagi di Jakarta.
Dan gempa nya lumayan kenceng, karna kantor saya berada di lantai 30 jadi kerasa banget getaran nya. Sampe-sampe satu kantor pada panik dan kita di evakuasi turun. Temen-temen saya sibuk ditelfon dan menelfon keluarga or temen2nya. Cuma telp saya aja yang masih tenang-tenang, ga ada telp sama sekali dari keluarga saya...hehe..tapi udah biasa siy, waktu jaman dulu kerusuhan 1998 aja dan temen2 gue di jemput disekolahan, nyokap saya tetap santai2 aja ga panik mikirin anak2nya hihihi....

Well, anyway, akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk pulang dan maceeettt...huehuhe..untung temen ada yang nebeng, so lumayanlah nemenin 1 1/2 jam aja bow untuk nyampe rumah.
Sampe di rumah, masih optimis akan disambut meriah penuh kekhawatiran. Tapi pas saya masuk rumah, kok pada santai2 aja ya??
Adek saya lagi nonton Kabel, Mama saya lagi makan J.Co dan Kakak saya lagi main komputer. Akhirnya saya ga tahan ngomong
"Ma, tadi kan gempa gede, kerasa ga?"
Respon satu rumah: "Hahhh? oh yaa..? kok ga kerasa ya?"
Whatt?!? Pantesan aja tak ada kekhawatiran terhadap diriku...

Tapi lucu nya, tiba-tiba Mama saya tampak berpikir terus bilang gini
"Oohh....pantesan tadi ada bunyi-bunyi dari situ (sambil nunjuk suatu alat teknologi di dinding yang saya nggak notice ada disitu) tapi Mama pikir suara apaan..."

Saya: "Lah, emang itu apaan?"
Mama: "Alat untuk alarm gempa, Papa baru beli kemaren...jadi kalo ada gempa dia bunyi"
Saya: ...... (speechless).

Halahhhh....lah teruusssss??
Itu kan udah bunyiii....huahuhaua.....Hello....?
Doesn't it ring any bell that MAYBE there IS an earthquake? (oh, please read the technical guidance which informs the function of this thing? *sarcasm mode on*)

It is kinda funny, thinkin that sometimes we already equipped ourselves with all those alarms and shields to warn us when the dangerous may occur, but we're too busy to notice when it actually rings? Atau kita terlalu tidak sensitif untuk mendengarkan peringatan-peringatan kecil di hidup kita, sehingga pada akhirnya saat hal-hal yang membahayakan atau menyakiti kita betul-betul terjadi, yang bisa kita lakukan adalah menyesali diri mengapa kita tidak mempercayai warning yang ada.

Oleh karena itu, cobalah mempercayai segala bentuk peringatan terhadap kita, baik dari teknologi modern yang kita sudah punya, bahasa alam dan yang paling penting adalah, insting kita. Saat kepala kamu mulai pusing atau perut kamu mulai sakit, itu adalah mild warning bahwa ada yang salah yang terjadi di tubuh kamu. Mungkin sudah waktunya kamu istirahat, atau sudah waktu nya check up ke dokter. Sehingga mungkin kamu bisa mencegah penyakit yang mungkin bisa bertambah parah. Begitu juga dengan keamanan kamu, di mobil misalnya, apabila tiba-tiba mobil kamu bersuara aneh atau mesin kamu mulai terasa "tidak enak", mungkin kamu harus secepat mungkin periksakan ke bengkel biar mencegah terjadi apa-apa dengan kamu dan mobil mu.

Termasuk juga untuk urusan hati....trust ur insting...saat kamu merasa mungkin dia bukan orang yang tepat, atau kamu tau bahwa kamu akan end up patah hati, mungkin itu MEMANG BENAR! Perasaan dan hati kamu (ditambah dengan peringatan dari orang-orang yang menyayangi kamu) adalah alarm yang paling tepat untuk mencegah kamu membahayakan diri dan hati kamu dengan nya.

From now on, try to listen carefully with all those alarms in your life, prevent yourself from the despair, and try to read all the nature's language.....becoz the most important thing in your life IS yourself....

In Love....again!

2006-07-19T10:31:00.000+07:00

Finally,,,after broken-hearted by the termination of Friends (aaghh.. still have the teary eyes to recall this hiks hiks..) and tried to rebound several times by watching all those old and new sitcoms and tv shows (the marathon of That 70's Show, Joey, Arrested Development, King of Queens, Will & Grace, until the Desperate Housewives and the O.C), I finally move on!! I'm in love again...lalala...with...........

SCRUBS!!

Gosh, this serial is soooo briliantly funnyyy....
At the first time I thought this show was the impersonation of Ally Mc Beal, with the main character who also likes to have this monologue in his head and imagining the funny thingy. But then my friend lent me the complete first season of Scrubs, then it turned out rendering me a sleepless nite!Coz I couldn't stop watching every episodes of Scrubs and continuously devoured all episodes. Scrubs is about the life of J.D, a loveable-smart-funny guy who does not realized his assets, a graduatee from a Medical School who is required to intern at Sacred Heart Hospital. As a fresh young blood, J.D has to struggle with the crazy life in hospital world and juggling with his social and romance life at the same time. By J.D's side is his bestfriend since college, the cute and confident black guy named Turk a surgical intern. Their new friend is Eliot Reid, a naive-wealthy-gurl with a squeky voice and bangs covering her eyes, who is always considered as a vanilla girl (she can't even say Vagina, instead she calls it Bajingo hahahha....) and later is having a mutual relationship with J.D. Another girl is Nurse Carla, Turk's girlfriend, who is the most mature person among the group, a motherly and sexy women at the same time. J.D's life is not easier when he gets a mentor named Dr.Cox, a steamroller of a man short on patience, however beneath his gruff presence hides a truly gud guy that J.D learns to respect. Dr.Cox always opposes the Chief of Medicine of Sacred Heart, Dr.Bob Kelso, who is most of the people have love/hate relationship with him. The balistic life of J.D is completed with the nuisance that mischievously carried out by the Janitor (his name remains unrevealed hehehe...)

Besides all of above main characters, other minor characters are also have their own unique characters and issues, which bring the benefit to the show to become an outstanding comedy show, such as Ted the low-self confidence-lawyer, The Todd of course!(an exhibisionist and annoying surgeon), Nervous guy (I don't remember his real name), Jordan (the biatch and ex-wife of Dr.Cox), Laverne the big-fat-cool Nurse, and Rowdy!!! the big-puppet-dog owned by J.D and Turk.

The story of Scrubs is deemed down to earth and most of the young people who have just starting their life (like I do!) must be having the similar circumstances. I think that is why I feel so connected with this show. From their fear of first time living their career, the pride of wearing the Scrubs and to be called as Doctor, the insecurity as twenty something guy, the fear of the future and marriage life, romance issue, and other interesting stories. The combination of gud storyline, humorous dialogue and great soundtracks, make this show is highly recommended!!

Every episode is always ended with the lesson learned on the events and J.D narrates beautiful quotations. My favourite quotation is when J.D and Elliot were trough a phase as a Sex Buddy, but then J.D feels he wants more than that while the other hand, Elliot feels that they cannot be sex buddy and just want to be friends only. J.D was a bit upset but then he found out that all of Elliot's possesion were robbed and she broke down:

"There are few things that I've always believed in...Flowers are good for any occassions (J.D has a lovely bouquet in his hand as he knocks on an apartment) and nothing more important than making time with old friends.... especially if the old girl's seen better days, cause even if it breaks your heart to be "just friend", if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit (J.D's at Elliot's empty apartment, as the bouquet was for Elliot, the two of them sitting on the floor and Elliot sobbed)"

but sadly I heard that Scrubs has already its season finale!!! Nooo...!!
Hopefully the rumours saying that they will make another season is true....*keep my fingers crossed*
Mr.Producer...!! Please don't break my heart again!!!

Scrubs are played wonderfully by the following casts:
Zach Braff as John "J.D" Dorian
Sarah Chalke as Elliot Reid
Donald Faison as Turk
Ken Jenkins as Dr.Bob Kelso
John C. Mcginley as Dr.Perry Cox
Judy Reyes as Nurse Carla Espinosa
Neil Flynn as The Janitor

*I think I have the combination character of Dr.Cox and Nurse Carla hehe....what are you?*

Closing the Book of Past

2006-07-18T15:59:00.000+07:00

I acknowledge that as a human being, no body born perfectly.
People make mistake, indeed.
And so do I.
That's why I tried so hard to forgive him for betrayin my trust.
I feel like time have gradually healed my wound.
I thought I already managed to forgive him, considering that I rarely reminiscing those despair and instead I enjoy being friends with him.
Really enjoy these peaceful moments.

But today,
My fingers were so itchy to do this old-bad-habit.
I dunno why, but I was kinda obsessed to get the updated news on the person I considering "the rival".
Alas, these fingers were frisky typing the rival's name in the google (I know I know, this IS a pathetic habit :D).
Aahh, God does have this sense of humour.
I suddenly found her writing which mentioned his name!
and not only that, it also indirectly informs me when their date was!
darn!
I felt a bit upset shortly afterward.
But then this logical thought of mine asks me this:
"Din, I thought you already forgive him? So then why are you doing this to yourself?"

YES!
I thought so too....
But why I often tempted to reveal that wound again?
the only hurted person would be me!

I once read in one of the blog which stated that "Forgiving is not an emotion, but it is a decision"
I am totally agree with this statement.
Well, sometimes it is hard to forgive someone, especially someone you love.
But decided to forgivesomeone, is a one huge step you can make to give yourself a happiness.
Coz you decided not to have this anger towards someone anymore, your mind won't be occupied with those useless-paranoid-thoughts, and foremost because it makes you appreciate yourself even more!

Then I remember,
I HAVE decided to forgive him.
I did try hard not to reminisce those silly crazy wound.
I did try closing our book of past.
But of course, as in a book, sometimes eventhough we know how scary a mystery book is and gives us nightmare, there is time when we run through the bookshelf and tempted to open and re-read the book again.
Maybe today I was tempted to re-read the book again, but then I realize that the book was too scary for me thus I promptly closed the book after a peek.

I decided to forgive him because forgiving is giving me more happiness and peaceful in my heart more than I have ever expected.
And I have to commit with my decision.
I know that there will be days that I tempted to peek that book of past,
but hopefully I already have the new book with a good story in it.
And after all, she doesn't worth the hazzle :)

*Therefore, after closing the book of past, I decided to buzz him on the MSN hehe "hei ndut, lagi apa?" And it's not so bad....

Moody's Mood for Love

2006-07-14T10:37:00.000+07:00

There I go, there I go, there I go, there I go
Pretty baby you are the soul, snaps my control
Such a funny thing but everytime your near me
I never can behave
You give me a smile and I'm wrapped up in your magic
There´s music all around me
Crazy music, music that keeps calling me so
Baby close to you, turns me into your slave
Come on and do with me any little thing that you want to
Anything, baby just let me get next to you

So am I insane or do I really see heaven in your eyes?
Bright as stars that shine up above you
In the clear blue sky, how I worry bout you
Just can't live my life without you
Baby come here, don't have no fear
Oh, is there wonder why
I'm really feeling in the mood for love

So tell me why, stop to think about this weather, my dear
This little dream might fade away
There I go talking out of my head again baby won't you
come and put our two hearts together
That would make me strong and brave
Oh, when we are one, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid
If there's a cloud up above us
Go on and let in rain
I'm sure our love together would endure a hurricane
Oh my baby won't you please let me love you
and get a release from this awful misery

What is all this talk about loving me, my sweet
I am not afraid, not anymore, not like before
Don't you understand me, now baby please
Pull yourself together, do it very soon
My heart's on fire, come on and take
I'll be what you make me, my darling

Oh baby, you make me feel so good
Let me take you by the hand
Come let us visit out there
In that new promised land

Maybe there we can find
A good place to keep a lovin' state of mind
I'm so tired of being without it
And never knew what love was all about
James Moody would you come on hit me,
you can blow now if you want to, I´m through

Hey you,,yes this is nice song indeed....So, was it dedicated for me? hihihi....

The First Kiss

2006-07-13T17:56:00.000+07:00

Saat itu hanya ada aku, dia dan sinar bulan yang mulai meredup, hendak bergantian dengan matahari pagi.
Dia mengendarai mobilnya perlahan-lahan.
Dari arah Kemang lalu menyusuri lengangnya Mampang Prapatan, terus saja menuju Menteng.
Pukul 3 pagi. Jalanan hanya diterangi dengan lampu-lampu kecil.
Masih ada mobil yang lalu lalang. Udara pagi menemani saat itu.
Kami hanya berbincang-bincang.
Tentang apa saja.
Kadang diselingi dengan canda-canda konyol kami. Hanya untuk menutupi rasa gugup yang mulai menyerangku. Tapi semuanya menyatu dengan perasaan senang yang sudah lama tidak menyelusup di hatiku.
Sambil terus menyusuri jalanan, dia terus menggenggam tanganku.
Dan yang terus ada di dalam kepala ku hanyalah ”aku tak ingin ini berakhir”
”Ayo Tuhan, hentikan waktu untuk saat ini saja”
Aku jarang beribadah, tapi aku selalu berdoa. Dan tidak pernah aku sekhusuk itu memohon.

”Hei, sudah hampir Subuh. Kamu harus pulang” ujarnya.
"oh, iya betul" sahutku. Dengan sedikit menggerutu pada waktu.
Mobil itu kembali berbalik arah ke rumahku.
Dia menyetir mobilnya pelan-pelan.
Sambil terus menggenggam tanganku.
Ah, itu rumahku.
Dan untuk pertama kalinya aku bersyukur pak satpam penjaga tidak ada.
Komplek rumahku masih di portal.
Dia menghentikan mobilnya. Lagi-lagi melanjutkan percakapan kami. Hanya untuk mengulur waktu perpisahan.
”Sudah waktunya” ujar ku kali ini. Ahh..malam ini terlalu sempurna, dan aku tidak tahu bagaimana harus mengakhirinya. Dan aku tidak tahu apakah dia menginginkan akhir malam ini seperti yang kupikirkan.
”baiklah..Selamat tidur” balasnya.
Kupakai sepatuku, menunggu ia membukakan kunci mobilnya.
”Hei..bagaimana dengan pembahasan kita kemarin?” serunya tiba-tiba.
Aku pura-pura berpikir, untuk meredakan rasa gugup, dan ketakutan akan harapan yang salah.
”hmm...aku tidak takut” ujarku dengan gagah, menyembunyikan semua adrenalin dalam diriku saat itu.
”aku juga tidak” balasnya. Lalu dengan perlahan wajahnya mulai mendekati wajahku.
Semua terasa tak nyata. Aku bisa merasakan sinar matahari muncul perlahan, menemani saat terindah dalam hidupku.
Yang kupikirkan saat itu adalah ”aku menciumnya! Aku menciumnya!”.

Just one of my perfect night.
Perfect morning.
Perfect moment.
Perfect kiss.
With a perfect guy.

Desember 2005

Soundtrack saat itu: Suara pagi

Shame on Me

2006-07-13T15:56:00.000+07:00

Saat ini gue ngerasa sebagai orang yang paling jahat, paling menjijikan dan paling jahaaattt....sedunia!
I'm guilty!
Apapun ucapan saya di dalam postingan beberapa hari yang lalu, saya merasa sangat sangat bersalah.
Damn, I wish I could turn back the time.
Din, lo orang yang paling munafik yang pernah gue tau.
Tega-tega nya lo nyakitin temen lo sendiri, nyakitin orang yang lo sayang, dan tega-teganya elo ngelakuin tindakan-tindakan bodoh yang nyebabin lo stress karena kepikiran.
Lo pikir ga cukup semua masalah lo.

Buat sahabat gue (kalo lo masih nganggep gue sahabat)
Gue bener-bener minta maaf.
Maaf.
Maaf karena nyakitin elo.
Maaf karena nyakitin elo.
Maaf karena mengkhianati elo.
Maaf untuk semua nya.
Dan disaat sekarang lo lagi sedih, bahkan gue ga sanggup untuk menghibur elo.
Gue dihantui rasa bersalah yang gue tau ga bakal ilang sampai kapanpun.
Dulu elo yang bantuin gue di saat terberat dalam hidup gue.
Dan sekarang gue bahkan ga berani untuk ngomong sama elo.
Karena gue merasa sebagai pengkhianat.

Dan dari semua nya, kepengecutan gue untuk ga berani mengakui ke elo lebih menjijikan lagi.
I'm sorry my friend.
I really am sorry.

Gosh Din,
Kenapa sih lo ga bisa mengontrol diri lo sendiri?
Kenapa sih harus selalu impulsive?
Kenapa sih harus selalu egois?
Dan lo masih nanya kenapa lo ga deserve gud things in ur life?
mungkin hal-hal seperti ini!

Saat ini gue ga tau apa yang harus gue lakuin.
Yang gue tau, rasa bersalah ini ga bakal bisa hilang.
And I am afraid.
of Tomorrow.

No soundtrack today can lift up my mood.

Menanti Sebuah Jawaban

2006-07-12T10:36:00.000+07:00

A nice song by Padi and a very good video clip too, Fauzi Baadilah is surely an eye candy with that abs hehehe...
The clip depicts a couple of bestfriends whereas the guy secretly loves the girl. I think the girl knows how he feels, in the end of the clip the girl holds his hands, i dunno whether that's the sign of acceptance or her sign that she knows that the guy loves her and maybe there's a chance for both of them...
-hehehe....curhat colongan, tapi bedanya aku menjadi si cowok ituuu hiks..hiks..-

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku tlah terpagut oleh cintamu
Menelusup hariku dengan harapan
Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
Mendekap penuh harapan tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawaban tuk memilikimu

Betapa pilunya rindu menusuk jiwaku
Semoga kau tau isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yg terus berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
Mendekap penuh harapan tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawaban tuk memilikimu...

From the first time this song was released, it reminds me of you.
Beibh, I'll keep lovin you, coz just loving you makes me happy inside...
I love to love you beibh...whether you love me or not...
Hopefully someday you'll give us a chance.

*dan yang paling aku kangenin adalah memelukmu....bener-bener kangen*

Eureka!

2006-07-11T11:25:00.000+07:00

Haaa...
Baru menemukan sesuatu.
Atau menyadari sesuatu.
Apalah...
Ternyata selama ini, kalau kita mengetahui ada orang yang berselingkuh (mau selingkuh beneran, cuma TTM, one nite stand, or whatever) sama pacarnya dan kemudian di depan pacar nya dia jadi baikkkkk bangeeetttt...., which this used to make me sick of their hipocracy, ternyata eh ternyata...
Orang yang macem-macem itu merasa bersalah!
bukan karena munafik.

Eh, apa semuanya udah pada tau?
hehe dan gue nya yang ketinggalan?
Anyway, hati-hati yaw kalo tiba-tiba pasangan kamu (mau pacar beneran kek, TTM, one nite stand, or whatever) tiba-tiba jadi baik dan perhatian sama super romantis...
Hmmm...mungkin dia abis "macem-macem" tuuuu
hehe curhat colongan

Soundtrack: Lagi dengerin lagu-lagu Indonesia

Guilty As Charged

2006-07-10T14:34:00.000+07:00

Whew...Last nite I became a person who I usually hate.
I hate that I can't resist the temptation.
I hate myself for betraying many people.

Dulu saya selalu benci dengan wanita-wanita yang tega menyakiti hati wanita lain.
Saya benci karena saya pernah berada di posisi wanita yang tersakiti.
Seorang teman juga ikut menghujat wanita-wanita seperti itu, sampai akhirnya dia menyadari sesuatu: "Eh Din, gue pernah deng jadi selingkuhan".
Pengakuan dia saat itu adalah dia sama sekali tidak memikirkan perasaan si cewek dari cowok itu.
Pertanyaan saya waktu itu adalah: "kok bisa?"

Tadi malam, baru saya bisa mengerti rasanya.
Saya tidak tahu apakah saya menjadi si wanita selingkuhan apa bukan.
Karena saya tidak berminat melanjutkan hubungan apapun, tidak terlintas sama sekali.
Tapi yang pasti, apabila hal ini terbongkar, saya akan menyakiti hati banyak orang. Goddamn!
Dan tadi malam, saya berusaha mengingatkan akal sehat saya, tapi...ternyata saya tidak memikirkan perasaan orang-orang itu!

Sejuta alasan untuk dijadikan pembenaran bisa saya utarakan.
I was vulnarable.
He started it.
We can't resist the temptation to kiss.
We had this chemistry.
It was only a one nite stand.
We already secretly tried hard to avoid things like this to occur.
I just want to get back my pain and hurt feelin.
I am single and free.

but Din, for whatever reasons, you did a bad thing.
I know -sigh...-

If someday people find out about this and I hurt people's feeling, well I'm sorry.
Or am I?
hehe...
but I can't help to say this:
"It was meant nothing, we don't have any feeling towards each other"
Hai cowok-cowok yang menyakiti saya...saya hanya meng-quote omongan kalian loh... ;p

Well, I'm just a human being...
Have this devil inside
and Unlikely Angel...

Soundtrack: Dirty Little Secret

To my Beibh

2006-07-07T11:35:00.000+07:00

Dear Beibh,

Last nite I felt like ton of bricks hit me.
It was the moment when I realize the truth. And sometimes Truth is hell. I know I said it before.
I realize.....I was never been in ur life. Never been in ur mind. Never been in ur plan. And sadly, never been in ur heart.

Beibh,
Here is a confession from me.
I have not yet forgot about my feeling towards you.
I keep pretending all this time. And do u have any idea how hard to become a pretender?
This time, I have to work twice harder than we used to do just to keep u beside me.
As a Friend.

Damn beibh, I want more...
But I won't let u know this time...
I won't ruin things between us again
Coz I care for u so damn much that I never even thought I would love someone this much.

Beibh, please don't let me crawl back to my comfort zone. I'm not happy anymore bein inside there. You are the only person who can pull me up to the brighter nest. Really. In some ways, u heal this wound inside my heart.

"gue ga mau komitmen kok, hubungan kita ini untuk saat ini aja"
IT WAS A LIE.
I was too afraid of the rejection from you.
And I was too afraid of this rare feelin inside me.
I am a pathetic shit!
And now I have to face another fear....
"what if..?"
"What if...?"
what if you find someone who'll make you happy and you'll tell me bout her?
I'm afraid how I will react.
I'm afraid this fragile feelin inside me would kill me.
I'm afraid that I can't overcome the pain. Anymore.
I'm afraid that I can't give a sincere happiness for u.
*sigh*

Beibh...
Seperti nya aku tambah dewasa hehe...
Aku ga akan memaksakan perasaanku dan merusak persahabatan kita lagi.
Aku bisa sayang sama kamu tanpa harus memiliki kamu.
Memang jalan nya begini ya beibh....
Doain aku bisa ikut bahagia buat kamu ya beibh....

*untuk kamu yang tidak tau atau yang tak mau tau*

FYI, tiba-tiba ada sms dari kamu beibh ngajak ketemuan, hehe aku senang...See we can read each other's mind rite?hehe...k a n g e n.

Soundtrack: Don't Go Away- Oasis.

"Don't go away...

Say What to Say..Say that U stay

Forever and today

in the time of my life...

Coz I Need More time,

Yes I Need More time just to make things right...

Me and you what's goin on?"

Getting Even with Papa Fu' e'

2006-07-06T14:33:00.000+07:00

I am a kind of person who is most likely bitchin bout (almost) everything.

This is why I called this blog as a "BITTER-sweet".

Well, nyaris aja topik berikut yang bakal saya tulis tentang bickering on my dad (another bitter thought, huh). Tapi iseng-iseng browsing ke blog orang-orang, salah satunya adalah tulisan pengarang ini.

Hey, Mas...this writing moves me. I changed my mind of blurting something bitter and I'd rather tell this nice story on my Dad.

Papa saya, or all my cousins called him Papa Fu' e' (bisa baca nya ga? hihi..), dan saya sangat tidak bisa dibilang akrab.

Entah kenapa kita hampir selalu berantem untuk hal-hal yang kecil. Istilahnya, semua kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut dia pasti reflek saya bantah. Begitu juga sebaliknya.

People say that we're alike, not physically, but our character are alike.

Setelah membaca tulisan ini saya baru menyadari sesuatu...

Despite all of those arguments between us, YES! me and Papa Fu'e' are alike.

I "hate" all of his negative characters, but ironically, those traits are in me!

He is stubborn.

He is annoying.

He always makes comments while watching the shows on TV.

He is sensitive.

He is uptight.

He is conservative.

He is emotional.

But hey! so do I.

Damn, so do I.

But in the other hand,

He is a hardworker.

He is a responsible person.

He is loyal.

He is funny (sometimes around holiday only -haha this will make another stories next time).

He is smart.

and the most important thing, he cares bout his family so much that he will work his ass off just to provide the best things for us.

FYI, papa saya yatim piatu dari dia kecil. He's married when he was 39 years old, hence we have this big gap on the age and era. Jika hari ini Papa Fu' e' bisa mencapai semua yang dia miliki dan jalani sekarang, tidak lain dan tidak bukan karna dia pekerja keras dan bertekad mewujudkan mimpinya. Dan saya kagum terhadap dia untuk itu.

If I could live my life half of he lives his life, I would be proud of myself.

Yes, Papa...

I admit,

You are my role model.

Everything I do is just to make you and Mama Ririen proud.

Nothin else.

And I can accomplish many things in my life by bearing all of ur traits, whether the negative ones but also those good traits in you as well.

And I want to thank you for that.

Mama saya pernah membongkar suatu rahasia

"Din, papa tuh bangga sama kamu, he keeps telling people about you. Cuma di depan kamu aja dia ga ngaku."

The funny thing is, walaupun saya suka mengeluh ke teman-teman saya tentang ribut-ribut kita, tapi ternyata cerita-cerita saya tentang Papa Fu' e' justru lebih banyak yang konyol. He IS funny in his on way...

See mom, I do the same thing as he does :p

Seperti tulisan ini.

Yakin seyakin-yakinnya dia ga bakal bisa ngeliat blog ini hehe..

Ternyata tanpa saya sadari, banyak hal penting dalam hidup saya yang saya lakukan untuk memenuhi permintaan dia. Walaupun sok-sok mengeluh dan diawali ribut-ribut, tapi so far so good, it is beyond my expectation. Dari mulai pilihan sekolah SMU, jurusan UMPTN, homestay di Aussie, sampai tempat kerja saya sekarang. Tapi semua itu berdampak baik ke kehidupan saya. I know he just wants the best for his daughters...

Maybe those arguments and yelling are our way to communicate.

Funny thought, but it is the most possible thing.

Maybe I should see this way,

setiap keadaan "tenang", lalu salah satu dari kita "memancing keributan", maybe we just miss each other hehehe....

So, Papa Fu' e'...

Kalau dulu mama pernah bilang kalau anda sangat ingin anak2 anda tidak menjalani kehidupan masa kecil anda yang susah, all I can say is...U do a GREAT job!We ARE happy.

Thank you! Thank you!Thank you!

I wish I will do the same thing for my family in the future. Amien.

Maybe our relationship will never be as closed as other people's, but I know we care about each other and that's enough for me. Coz, komputer rusak, rumah berantakan, rebutan mobil, are nothin compare to ur presence.

See you in our next argument, Dad ;)

*Teringat sebulan yang lalu, sudah jam 9 pagi, ga ada mobil, lalu papa saya tiba-tiba bilang "Mau Papa anterin ke kantor?" saya mengangguk lega. Sampai di Mampang, saya:"Pa, lewat jalan potong aja, aku udah telat banget dan mampang macet banget". Papa Fu' e': "ah, jalan kecil ya, males" sambil terus melewati lampu merah mampang, lalu...ciiitt...berhenti. Yaaakkk...betul sekali, mobil-mobil berhenti karna macet total. Urrgghh...pancingan untuk berantem nyaris keluar. Tapi kali ini saya memutuskan untuk quality time with my Dad. Alhasil saya sampe kantor jam 1/2 11. Tapiiii....I had one and half hour just talkin about everythin with my dad, without bickering....ahh....My precious quality time... =)*

Soundtrack : Dancing with my Father - Luther Vandross

"back when I was a child, before life removes all the innocence,

My father would lift me high,

and dance with my sister and me,

and then spin me around 'til I fell asleep,

then up the stairs, he would carry me

and I knew for sure I was loved"

Jabbering!

2006-07-06T13:48:00.000+07:00

When I started this blogg, I made a promise to myself that I would write anykind of topics but him!
But then, today, I can't think of anything to write but him-him-him....
I miss him.
I miss his presence.
My fatty-little-cutie-violist
hehe...

Arrghh...come' on Din,
This is getting boring already.

gosh...

*Make another promise to write more interesting topic :p

Soundtrack: Overkill-Colin Hay